10 signs – You are Healing from your Past Trauma
“Numbing is a very human defense mechanism. It is a disconnect to protect ourselves from what has been emotionally and relationally too vulnerable, overwhelming, hurtful, or unsafe.” – Inspired by Lelia Schott
Trauma is the lasting emotional response that often results from living through a distressing event. Experiencing a traumatic event can harm a person’s sense of safety, sense of self, and ability to regulate emotions and navigate relationships.
I have walked many paths in my life to only arrive at similar destinations. Finding patterns and predictions falls in line with my natural curiosity. What do you call similar occurrences over 50% of a lifetime? I define it as a pattern . . . It was my pattern, compilated, convoluted but a pattern all the same. A pattern that was in fact telling me my story buried in my subconscious. Every detail of the pattern lead me to clues of my deep-rooted, trauma of my childhood. I lived a life of numbing the pain, and the feelings, ignoring the confusion, and escaping reality. A path of healing, unveiling secret parts of myself that did not know were there and needed to be called upon, nurtured, loved, and unified. Looking back on the early stages of my healing, ten clear signs helped me discover and define the groundwork for my path to healing myself.
- I became aware that there are parts of me that are hurting, that are lonely, that were never nurtured.
These were my hurts and deep scars, found in my subconscious. They started showing up in my life through my feelings and actions in response to a situation, such as depression, sadness, anger, discomfort, irritation, jealousy, guilt, self-blame, and shame. My subconscious thoughts started bubbling to the surface and revealing themselves in the outer limits of my conscious self.
These subconscious selves started coming to the surface when I started being seen by the world and visible to many people. I started feeling respected, trusted, depended on, a reliable team member, and valued for my thoughts, talents, and opinions. Within my state of being this caused me to question my feelings of self-doubt, self-worth, and my own desires. It was as if a breath of life was breathed into my soul. It brought about a deep awakening of all my fragmentations and overpowering desire for love, peace, clarity, and an authentic connection with others.
- I started to feel happiness.
Not the little happiness that you feel when you have a good day at work or when you achieve a goal, but the deep happiness that comes from within. This happiness from within was sometimes unexplainable and always surprising. It was as if even the darkest corner of my soul could feel the warmth and glow of the sun.
- Not only do you feel that happiness that makes your soul light, but you notice that you make excuses to deny yourself that happiness.
This happiness terrified me. Almost within the same moment, I felt happiness, I felt this counteracting sadness as if something in me was telling me this feeling was not for me. I don’t deserve to feel this good. As if someone gave this happiness and they could take it away. To dig this whole even deeper – it is not the fact that a part of me was denying myself this happiness, but the fact that I became aware of these thoughts. I realized that people are only as happy as they allow themselves to be, and I was not in the habit of allowing myself to be happy.
- I started attracting positivity into my life.
I have also found that the university has a way of People and opportunities that promote
self-improvement start showing up in your life, such as a new job or a new friendship.
These experiences feel much different from ones in your past. You start to notice how
people around value and respect you.
- You explore articles and study the lives of people that focus on positivity. You start to focus on the positive assets of your life.
- You start to welcome things into your life that bring you joy and really start to understand the meaning of self-care. Acceptance and love for oneself are mandatory for self-care. Understanding that you desire to take care of yourself is an understatement. It is truly amazing how many people you try can make you feel guilty for taking time for yourself, and for doing what’s best for you.
- You start setting boundaries around the people and things in your life that you want and start to understand that you can manifest a life that brings you joy.
- You start to learn to communicate your desires to the universe. Allowing yourself to desire and understand your needs, but more importantly, learning to communicate your needs to those in your life, and sharing those with the universe. You have a newfound trust, confidence, and reassurance that you can depend on. That might come from a support system you developed, and connection with a higher power, and a connection to yourself.
- You show up in your own life every day. You develop a resilience to life and circumstances with a newfound peace and grace from within.
- You intentionally nurture your parts and find peace and kindness from within.